Arnold Schwarzenegger downplays detainment with awkward jokes about sex, prostitution

Arnold Schwarzenegger made light of his recent run-in with Munich customs during his big auction in Kitzbuhel, Austria, on Thursday.

The “Terminator” star, who was detained at the airport over a pricey watch Wednesday, kicked off the bidding war by addressing the elephant in the room in a rather crude manner, per a video obtained by TMZ.

“I mean, we always start things with a lot of drama. That’s what we saw yesterday. I mean, can you believe that all of a sudden I was in handcuffs?” he asked.

The 76-year-old told guests that the restraints weren’t “because of the watch or the customs office” but because he had “a hot night” with girlfriend Heather Milligan.

Although the joke seemingly took some attendees by surprise, the former bodybuilder kept going.

“It’s unbelievable. No, but seriously the woman in the customs office said, ‘If you don’t behave I’m going to put you in handcuffs,'” he recalled.

Arnold Schwarzenegger joked that it was his girlfriend that recently put him in handcuffs — not Munich customs. AFP via Getty Images

“And I said, ‘Hey, that’s okay. That’s a great deal because usually I pay $500 for that.'”

Despite momentarily appearing to explain what actually happened next, Schwarzenegger used the opportunity to tell one final awkward joke.

He joked that after customs found the $100,000 Audemars Piguet watch in his luggage, they started searching for a second one — which they never found.

The actor was detained over a pricey watch on Wednesday.

“He couldn’t find it because I was hiding it,” he said. “And I can’t tell you where because I just cannot sit down today.”

An insider told TMZ that most of the guests loved the actor’s raunchy jokes, which reportedly went on for about eight minutes.

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A source confirmed to Page Six Wednesday that the actor-turned-politician was held up at customs for “traveling with a watch he owns” that he was planning to auction off.

According to Munich’s customs spokesman, their agency had “initiated criminal tax proceedings” because the watch “should have been registered” since it was an “import,” per Bild.

He was bringing the Audemars Piguet watch to Austria for his charity auction. APA/EXPA/AFP via Getty Images

We were told that Schwarzenegger was “never asked to fill out a declaration form and he answered every question from customs officers honestly.”

“He cooperated at every step even though it was an incompetent shakedown, a total comedy of errors that would make a very funny cop movie,” the source added.

Thankfully, the actor was eventually released following a three-hour ordeal revolving around how he could pre-pay potential taxes on the watch.

The hassle seemed to pay off big as the watch in question reportedly sold for $293,000, per TMZ.

The pricey piece reportedly sold for nearly $300,000. AP

“The Schwarzenegger Climate Initiative will properly report it, as all of Arnold’s non-profits do,” an insider told us of the big ticket item.

The Schwarzenegger Climate Initiative as a whole also reportedly raised over $1.4 million.

“His charity auctions raise millions of dollars every year for after-school programs for kids all over the United States and environmental work around the world.

“We hope Germany spends as much energy turning around their economy as they do asking for tax payments for people’s property they bring into the country, and we hope next time they don’t make him pay taxes on his suits.”