6 days ago
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An issue is currently causing a dear friend sleepless nights, yet the child involved is not even hers.
It’s just the heart of a mother that’s at work.
Before going into the story, I have appeals to make to my fellow women today.
Make sure that in your “wonderful” circle of friends, you have at least one person who can tell you “as it is’’.
Not everyone who tells you what you don’t want to hear is toxic.
Most times, that’s a voice that life is using to call you to order…before a major regret happens.
In a failed marriage, let it not be your pain that dictates everything else, especially when children are involved.
Some fathers parent far better than the mothers of their children and you don’t have to take the children to punish the man if they are better off living with their father.
Many divorced women are letting their pain mess with the important things in their lives and it should not continue because that only gives more regrets in the long run.
This is the story.
Marriage packed up. And the children opted to stay with their father. But, as soon as their mother relocated abroad, she came for the children in a shocking manner.
Before then, a few of her friends had advised her to leave the children with their father.
They attested to the fact that he was very hands-on.
That man was gainfully employed but he always found time to attend to his children…from helping out with their school work to ensuring they participated in domestic chores.
Their mother refused to listen to these voices of reason and took away those children from their father.
The friend said that when what the woman did dawned on the father of her children, the man came to her house one morning (wearing a pyjamas) crying like a baby. He told her that he may not be able to survive the shock of his children being taken away from him.
Despite being advised to take some time off work when his health began to go downhill, he still succumbed to his health complications, not long after.
Guess what?
Those children are now back in Nigeria, with the primary goal of seeing if the damage done to one of them can be corrected.
He has been initiated into a same-sex reality. It’s even said that his bottom area is always wet.
Talks with him revealed that their neighbourhood over there is a ghetto. And he was being bullied so much that he sought “protection” from the wrong hands.
He is just a teenager!
Now that they are back in the country, their father is no longer alive to envelop them with his nurturing love.
It’s now strangers (family friends and school teachers) who are being begged to help “train” the child.
Can you compare all these to the standard of living they had with their father?
Even if a man is making an effort at being the best daddy in the world, if he is unfortunate to fall into the hands of a vindictive woman, he will be made to look like the worst man to ever walk the surface of the earth.
Women, please!
The end of a marriage does not mean that everything else has to go to hell.
Let what should work keep working for the interest of all.
There is no point fighting to keep the children that you know you do not even have the capacity to train properly.
Let them stay where they are best-taken care of. It does not make you less of their mother. And these children know it.
The message below is an experience from a man who just divorced his wife sent to me.
“Our marriage was fraught with so much fight and I was almost losing the battle against my blood pressure until I quit the marriage and my health began to stabilise. But my ex-wife is making me pay dearly for that decision by poisoning the minds of my children against me.
It’s only my daughter that finds the courage to come closer when her siblings (who would report to mummy) are not looking.
The others would see me in their school and take to their heels as if a kidnapper had come for them.
I once cut a trip short to be able to make it to their school on their birthday.
I gave them gifts but when I looked back to wave them bye-bye, my eldest son had already dropped his own gift on the floor. And the others seemed set to do the same, if not that I looked back. Only my daughter was engrossed in opening hers. I shed tears till I got to my car.’’
