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Jon Stewart is no stranger to displays of political passion, but tonight’s episode of The Daily Show marked a new level of enthusiasm: The comedian smashed a porcelain prop cup with the words “World’s Most Dad” printed on them to the protestation (and bleeding) of his fingers.
“I’ll be going to the hospital soon,” he said, laughing and hiding his hand under the desk. The fervent gesture was made as Stewart blasted Elon Musk‘s temporary contracted organization, the Department of Government Efficiency, and its haphazard slashing of the government’s budget via premature firings of federal employees, a significant number of which have since been reinstated to their posts.
“Yeah! F— you, guy who tests water for appropriate levels of fecal matter! What are we talking about?” a baffled Stewart asked. Dubbing Musk the “Nick Cannon of white people” (in reference to both having fathered numerous children by different women), Stewart also mocked the X owner’s chainsaw display, as peer and former mentee John Oliver did yesterday.
Also calling out president Donald Trump‘s debunked claims that millions of deceased individuals are profiting off of Social Security money, Stewart quipped: “We’re not paying millions and millions of dead people Social Security money. And even if there was a 200-year-old man walking around, he wouldn’t need Social Security, he’d still be in Congress,” he said, flashing images of Nancy Pelosi (84), Chuck Schumer (74), Mitch McConnell (83) and Charles E. Grassley (91).
Throughout the rest of the segment, Stewart pointed to alternative ways DOGE could address bloated government spending, insisting that the crossbow was aimed in the wrong direction and should instead be pointed toward conglomerates, quipping that “we live in the Upside Down” and negotiate badly with such entities like pharmaceutical companies, resulting in the “worst Shark Tank deal in f—ing history.”
“Capitalism is, by definition, exploitative. It’s how it operates. That’s fine,” he stated, “but then government’s role should be to ease the negative effects on Americans of that exploitation, not subsidize that treachery with our money. We’re getting f—ed at a Diddy party, and they’re making us buy the baby oil.”
Stewart opined that true change would come when attention was focused on corporations like Walmart and McDonald’s that “make billions” in tax-payer-subsidized profits but whose employees still rely on tax-payer-subsidized public assistance.
“We are subsidizing the very system that makes workers’ lives harder in the first place, all in the name of freedom and liberty. But the greatest restriction of freedom in this country isn’t DEI and pronoun pressure, it’s f—ing poverty and struggle,” he added.
At this point, the commentator held up his wrapped-in-tissue hand to survey it, he and the audience both taking in the blood dripping along several fingers, leading viewers to audibly gasps: “It’s fine!” he laughed, taking it in stride as a consummate professional.
Stewart closed up the show (and hopefully soon his wound) by brainstorming a new acronym other than MAGA for “a new age.”
Flashing on screen to spell it out was the beginnings of “MANGIONE” in reference to alleged UHC shooter Luigi Mangione: “Make America Not Governed In Obviously Negative—oh! Abort, abort, abort, I’m kidding, no vigilantes, but do something!”
Watch the segment below:
