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Colin Jost and Michael Che had a lot of news to dig into from the week, but nothing elicited a greater reaction from the audience than the latter’s dig at Will Smith‘s first album in two decades.
“Will Smith has released his first new album in 20 years, and ironically the album doesn’t slap,” he said on Saturday Night Live‘s Weekend Update, first eliciting jeers, which then gave way to strong cheers.
Elsewhere during the segment, the anchors took turns dragging President Donald Trump’s administration, having fun with the news of the Signal group chat that leaked sensitive war plans in Yemen to a journalist at The Atlantic.
“Well, this week we learned our entire national security team has the texting skills of my aunt Janet,” Jost began. He continued with multiple jabs at Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, who has long faced allegations of alcohol abuse, making fun of him for accidentally quoting Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump: “Oh man, he went full Gump, except for Hegseth life is more like a box of wine.”
Che, meanwhile, lobbed a hit at Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, who earlier this week visited a prison holding deported migrants in El Salvador for seemingly a cruel photo op, “even though it looks more like she’s trying to beat a world record on OnlyFans.”
He then segued, “FBI director Kash Patel announced that the agency is launching an investigation into anti-Musk vandalism at Tesla dealerships, calling it domestic terrorism, which is a federal crime punishable by a full pardon,” flashing an image on-screen of the January 6 insurrectionists. “Those protesters better be very careful because Patel has eyes everywhere,” he added, referencing Patel’s eye condition.
Later on, Jost characterized Vice President JD Vance’s visit to Greenland as a “sad reboot of Veep” where he delivered “the administration’s clearest threat so far: either Greenland joins the U.S. or the U.S. will keep sending them JD Vance.”
Also featured on Weekend Update was Jost’s “Hear Me Out” segment in which he went after the anthropomorphic bear at the center of Paddington: “Hear me out — Paddington’s a toxic bitch. He is an illegal immigrant, freeloading off a nice, gullible white family. His sticky little marmalade paws are just waiting to rip open that trench coat so he can flash our straight children. I can’t wait to call ICE on his Peruvian ass!” said Jost, breaking into laughter and prompting Che to ask, “Are you OK, Colin?” to which Jost immediately yelled, “No!”
Meanwhile, Devon Walker appeared to comment on the viral morning routine of influencer Ashton Hall, spoofing his early wakeup time, penchant for Saratoga water dunks and rubbing a banana on his face (in Walker’s version, also an apple and what appeared to be avocado toast). In the TikTok satire, Walker was also seen leaving SNL boss Lorne Michaels’ office, where he could be overheard saying, “Devon, the sketch is cut.”
Featured player Ashley Padilla gave it her all as “Joann” from Joann Fabrics, an overdramatic and problematic permanent marker-huffing worker of the soon-to-be out-of-business craft store. While ranting that “women will die” as Joann is akin to suburbia the way Planned Parenthood is to college towns, Padilla joked that “feminism” killed the fabric establishment. “Teach a woman to read and she’ll never craft again,” she said.
See the bits below:
