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How did you meet your wife?
I first met my wife, Ifeoma, when we were in a secondary school we both attended. I wasn’t supposed to be in her class but I was put there because of a certain delay. I was supposed to be her senior. But she later transferred to another school after our JSS 3.
Was it love at first sight?
No, it wasn’t. We were still young at the time we first met and we didn’t think of marriage or even becoming boyfriend or girlfriend. Funnily enough, back then we were both in the same literary society and several times we acted as husband and wife.
So how did you meet again?
After I finished secondary school, we were minimally in touch with each other through mutual friends because there were no mobile phones those days. When we both finished from the university, we met again on Facebook. This time around, she was in Rivers State, but I was in Lagos.
What convinced you that you would marry her?
When we became friends again, she gave me a condition that if she visited me, we would not sleep together and there would be no sex before marriage and I honoured her conditions. We courted for like four years and then I proposed to her.
Was money an important factor for you before you settled down?
Yes, money was an important factor. First of all, in the East, among the Igbo, weddings cost a lot, so you can’t wake up one day and say you want to get married when you don’t have money to pay a bride price and a white wedding. You first have to feed yourself well before bringing in someone’s daughter. You have to be comfortable first and that means, you need to have shelter and a regular stream of income.
What event on your wedding day was the most memorable for you?
Well, for me, it was the bedroom activity. You see, throughout the courtship, we never had sex. Even when I was going to Port Harcourt for the marriage counselling, I was lodging in a hotel. So on our wedding day, that was the most memorable part of it because I had been looking forward to it.
What are the lessons marriage has taught you?
Marriage has taught me patience, and the importance of communication. It has taught me how to sacrifice as a father and husband. I must not assume things;, I need to have regular conversations with my wife. It has also taught me that the biblical expression, “One can chase a thousand and two can put tens of thousands to flight” is true. After marriage, I have achieved more in life and wished I did it earlier.
What advice would you give to youths planning to marry?
Ensure that you can feed yourself first, then evaluate if you can feed another person and then two more individuals. Then, decide on what you want and when you see what you want, go for it. I must also warn that not all that glitters is gold. It’s not just about being light-skinned or having big hips, because those physical features will fade. Base your choice on the personality of the lady you want to marry.
And when you marry, you may have a delay in childbearing as we experienced. You have to stand by your wife and allow no third party to put you asunder. At the right time, our children came. Don’t be bossy or mistreat your wife, help her around the house.
