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Prime Day has slowly transitioned from the Black Friday of Summertime to just one of several deal days that seem like they happen almost all the time. This year, the season’s shopping event feels much more uninspired and pointless. So, instead of bombarding you with calls to spend cash on a new vacuum, Gizmodo prefers to showcase the worst deals for some of the oddest products. Even then, we’re left scratching our heads trying to find the lowest prices on products we regularly see on sale.
Again, we must reiterate that so many deals you find on Amazon could be misleading. While you might find a good deal on that hot tech product compared to the base listed price, the product is near-permanently at a discount. Sites like CamelCamelCamel and apps like Keepa offer a price history to find how often your product goes on sale. Amazon isn’t immune to some pretty sketchy deals. Amazon Echo Show is sold at or near the same price as this Prime Day. The 55-inch Amazon Fire TV is on sale for $329 but was close to $50 less during last October’s Prime Day.
This year, it seems more than ever that many gadget makers are not celebrating Amazon’s fake holiday like they used to. If I’m looking at something I’ve wanted for a while, like the Ember Travel Mug 2+, I can get it for 10% off for $180. The same product was going for $160 on Amazon last month. The 2nd-gen Apple AirPod Pro is $170 on both Amazon and Walmart. However, those were at the same low price about a week ago, so I wouldn’t go out of your way to jump on them immediately if you’re having second thoughts.
And you really shouldn’t stick to Amazon, either. Walmart had its deals event last week. The Nintendo Switch Lite is still $160 instead of $200 if you don’t want to wait for the Switch 2.
That’s not to say you won’t find some pretty sweet deals on July 16 and 17. The Meta Quest 3 is currently going for $430 for the 128 GB version (about what it cost on Walmart’s site last week). The rugged Apple Watch Ultra 2 is hitting a low of $700 for Prime Day, though that doesn’t mean you should immediately put down the 700 bones for Apple’s most expensive outdoorsy watch on a whim.
Senate Committee Cites Amazon for Dangerous Working Conditions on Prime Day
We also shouldn’t forget how much Prime Day has impacted Amazon’s beleaguered workforce. The Senate’s Health, Education, Labor, and Pension Committee released a preliminary report on Tuesday showing that Prime Day regularly forces warehouse staff to work longer and harder. Based on hundreds of interviews with Amazon staff, the committee said workers can get twice as many requests as usual.
The report also includes graphs provided by Amazon showing that 2019 Prime Day resulted in a 45% injury rate among workers. This includes severe and minor injuries that don’t need to be reported to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration.
Amazon spokesperson Kelly Nantel emailed Gizmodo that the report “draws sweeping and inaccurate conclusions based on unverified anecdotes, and it misrepresents several years old documents.” The spokesperson added that Amazon has reduced its incidence rate of minor injuries by 28% since 2019.
Let’s look at the worst Prime Day deals we’ve spotted.
The Creepiest Therapy Mask That Will Also Make Your Face Glow with Menace
Image: Amazon SDKWDH’s LED therapy mask isn’t one of those deals you immediately gravitate to unless you have—how do we say—particular tastes. It can produce seven colors on different spectrums to light up your face, and while I can’t speak to its effectiveness, I can proclaim just how creepy that mask looks. The added bib to illuminate your neck gives it more “most dangerous prey” vibes.
How Many Pickleballs Do You Need to Play Pickleball?
Image: Amazon I suppose the answer to that question isn’t 400 pickleballs. Because if you want, you can nab a 400-pack of Franklin-brand pickleballs for $549. Should you go for such a ludicrous number? Perhaps if your partner tends to hit balls into the next county. The 3-pack comes out to $10, which isn’t that exciting when it’s regularly at that price, even when it’s not Prime Day.
For the Love of All That’s Holy, Please Stop Buying Catan
Image: Amazon I’ve played Catan. I’ve played Catan a whole lot. It’s fun enough, but it’s damn tiring even after the second time you’ve played it. So many better games don’t rely on a variable dice roll to collect the right resources. Try Splendor, Concordia, or Space Base. Even Ticket to Ride is a better time than Catan. Oh, and the deal is also really not that good. It’s slightly discounted at $37, but the game has gone as low as $25 in the past few months.
Sure, a Pack of Markers is Definitely Worth $30
Image: Amazon There’s nothing specifically wrong with Expo’s dry-erase markers, but don’t go around assuming they usually cost $30.42 MSRP. The pack of 12 markers is on sale for around $8, but if you like its price history, the average is around $18. This is another case of a company setting the price higher to make it always seem like you’re getting a deal. This isn’t even as low as they go, as they’ve previously gone for a little more than $6. Nice try, Expo.
And you know what? The same goes for you, Sharpie. A dozen markers for $7 is a fair deal, but don’t pretend you sell them for $21 when the highest they’ve been is $13.
Yes, You’ll Feel Cool. No, You Wont’ Look Cool
Image: Amazon This IceDoo Recovery Pod fits only one person at a time, and for some reason, you can get it for a stated 90% off or just $100. It’s a 46L pod at 46 inches, so you’ll still need to scrunch up into your big ice tub to feel that jarring, cooling relief. But let’s also cut through the jokes. This massive ice bath typically sells for about $120, so you’re saving a mere $20 instead of hundreds.
It supposedly collapses down for easy carrying, and the product images show a man carrying it out into what seems like the wild tundra. I then have to ask, how the hell are you going to carry the ice into the wilderness as well?
You Don’t Need a Keurig, Let Alone Amazon-Brand Coffee Pods
Image: Amazon Keurigs and other pod-based coffee machines are simply one of the most wasteful ways to brew coffee. You produce more plastic waste than you need to, and what you get often isn’t worth it. Even “recyclable” K-Cups aren’t that recyclable. So, if you were looking at those Amazon-brand coffee pods and wondering if they’ll taste any better than your regular blend, consider buying some other coffee, please.
We Really Don’t Recommend Giving 23andMe Your DNA
Image: Amazon If you don’t know about DNA data harvesting services like 23andMe, you should know you’re giving up a lot to understand your genetic heritage. Late last year, reporters revealed a hack cost 23andMe data for 6.9 million customers. Some of this data included users’ genetic information, as confirmed by the company to Gizmodo.
So we really, really can’t stress enough just how problematic services like Ancestry.com and 23andMe are. It doesn’t matter if their DNA kits are on sale; it’s just a matter of keeping your DNA safe and secure.
That’s Too Many Snacks
Image: Amazon Why buy just a few bags of Cheetos when you could buy six tiny bags, plus a heap of Doritos and some disgusting SmartFood white cheddar popcorn? Oh, it seems like a lot, but let’s face it: unless you’re having a party dedicated to producing more trash than you need to, or if you want to be the worst house on your street during Halloween, you’re not going to eat all these tiny bags of chips, popcorn, and extra-salty pretzels by yourself. You also don’t need 40 bags of Frito and friends, especially since you barely save more than $5.
