This Charity Will Feed a Rat Named After Your Ex to a Large, Bloodthirsty Bird

A hawk on the attack.Image: Ronnie Howard (Shutterstock)

If you’re feeling particularly spiteful this Valentine’s Day, HawkWatch International has got you covered. For as little as a measly five bucks, the charity will feed their “Raptor Ambassadors” a rodent named after your ex or other object of hatred. And for you lovebirds out there, the organization also has a gift bundle you can buy for a cherished one.

HawkWatch International has been around since 1986. In addition to its educational efforts, the nonprofit funds research programs focused on conversation efforts and the long-term monitoring of raptor populations across the globe. Raptors are a broadly defined group that includes owls, hawks, eagles, and other taloned birds that primarily hunt and feed on other animals.

The charity’s special promotion, titled “The One Rat Got Away,” isn’t the first to offer romantic retribution via animal naming around Valentine’s. Several zoos and animal sanctuaries have allowed people to name bugs and other unpopular creatures destined to be animal chow after their exes. Perhaps the most viral of these campaigns in recent years was the San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me a Cockroach” fundraiser, launched in 2020. This year, the zoo is letting people name rats and veggies in addition to cockroaches, for a larger buffet of playful maliciousness.

But if birds of prey are more your thing, then HawkWatch International is the place for you. For $5, the charity will name a mouse or rat to be fed to the hypercarnivorous birds that the charity houses and uses for their live education programs (the birds were all rescued and are unable to safely rejoin the wild). For a little more money, you can get photographic or video footage of the feeding, and for the max $60, you can even meet your ex-eating raptor in a video call. More squeamish people who still want proof can also ask for no gore in their received photos.

Folks who somehow believe in love can instead opt for the gift “Owl Always Love You Bundle,” which supports the “Following Forest Owl” program. The $50 bundle provides your loved one a symbolic adoption of a Northern Saw-whet Owl, complete with an 8x10 photo and a certificate detailing one of the owls being tracked. They’ll also get a nifty pin and a Sibley’s Owls of North America pocket guide.

Those eager to get some rat-based revenge shouldn’t wait too long: The charity’s promotion only lasts through February 13.