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This week’s “Weekend Update” on Saturday Night Live was a sprawling one — tackling the results of the 2024 presidential election and joking about the next “Barbenheimer.”
“On Tuesday, we learned that Democrats actually don’t know how to rig an election,” host Colin Jost said. “It’s like we’re living in a computer simulation and whoever’s controlling Trump has a cheat code. He’s invincible, he’s like a character in Grand Theft Auto who throws a prostitute out of a car and drives straight to the White House. But don’t you guys worry, if I know Democrats, they’re gonna take a long look in the mirror, learn from their mistakes and then run Biden again in 2028.”
Michael Che added, “How did I let y’all convince me that rural Pennsylvania would pick the Jamaican Indian lady? Clearly I’ve been spending too much time with you white liberals and your goofy optimism. It wasn’t even close … Y’all gonna let a man with 34 felonies lead the free world and be the president of the United States? That’s it, I’m listening to R. Kelly again. I already do, but I’mma stop pretending I don’t. If white people can elect their felons, I can dance to mine.”
Elsewhere during the program, Jost joked about cinemas’ goal of recreating “Barbenheimer,” the double-feature release of Greta Gerwig’s Barbie and Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer in summer 2023: “Theater owners around the country are hoping to recreate the box-office success of ‘Barbenheimer’ when Gladiator II and Wicked are released on the same weekend. So get ready for ‘Glad-dicked.'”
Also featured on “Weekend Update” were guest appearances by Ego Nwodim’s “woman who can’t find something in her purse” on how to be a good, active listener, as well as Kenan Thompson’s neighbor Willie, whose unfailing optimism belies the darker natures of his life.
As Jost attempted to get Nwodim’s attention, the featured player pulled out everything from maracas to a dead goldfish from her purse. “Oh my God, y’all gone kill me,” she exclaimed upon pulling out a forgotten ballot. “That’s a damn shame, I’m registered in Pennsylvania, too.”
Dotting her speech with her signature term of endearment “girl,” she assured Jost, “No I’m present, no I’m here, girl I’m here, I am here, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry or congratulations or that’s crazy or whatever.”
Meanwhile, Thompson’s Willie confused getting rounded up for a police lineup as voting in elections, mistook hide ‘n seek as simply a game about hiding perpetually, shared an unnerving story about his uncle and brought up the Yankees loss — not to mention his penchant for fighting against dogs.
“I’ve been knocked down before, but I just pick myself up, take the rope off my neck and hope that the next time the beam will support my weight,” he said.
