‘Willy Wonka’ UK Event Promoter Issues Second Apology, Promises Refunds

The biggest event disaster since the Fyre Festival concert fiasco has drawn a second apology from its promoters.

The director of the disastrous Willy Wonka experience in Glasgow, Billy Coull, posted a lengthy explanation of what went wrong on Facebook.

The event, billed as “Willy’s Chocolate Experience,” promised attendees chocolate fountains, performances by Oompa Loompas, and “a celebration of chocolate in all its delightful forms.”

Instead, they received a sparsely decorated warehouse featuring two women with green wigs playing the Oompa Loompas, and actor Paul Connell, whose red hair and beard made him less Willy Wonka and self-admittedly more like an Oompa Loompa.

The resultant uproar from attendees made worldwide news, and has spawned a cottage industry of related memes.

Shortly after word emerged on the disaster, House of Illuminati issued a brief statement.

“Unfortunately, last minute we were let down in many areas of our event and tried our best to continue on and push through and now realize we probably should have cancelled first thing this morning instead,” the company statement said.

Aware that the previous statement did not dampen anger, director Coull tried again today with a second, more detailed apology.

“I am reaching out to address the recent cancellation of the “Willys Chocolate Experience” event. Firstly, I want to extend my sincerest apologies to each and every one of you who was looking forward to this event. I understand the disappointment and frustration this has caused, and for that, I am truly sorry.

“It’s important for me to clarify that the organization and decisions surrounding this event were solely my responsibility. I want to make it clear that anyone who was hired externally or offered their help, are not affiliated with the me or the company, any use of faces can cause serious harm to those who did not have any involvement in the making of this event.”

Refunds are coming, Coull promised, although his message was somewhat garbled.

“Regarding the refunds, I am committed to rectifying this situation. All 850 Transactions will be continue to be refunded has been posted to ensure transparency and to demonstrate my commitment to making this right for everyone affected.

“I ask for a bit of time to process everything that has happened. My intention is to learn from this experience. Your support and understanding during this time mean the world to me.”